I Love Schmooze

Here are some more words I love.

1. Schmooze
2. Behoove
3. Subjective
4. Biocentrism
5. Blunt
6. Botched
7. Gall
8. Chutzpah
9. Gefilte fish
10. Mooch
11. Annihilate
12. Horrific

Some of my favorite phrases.

1. Quite frankly ...
2. Habeus corpus
3. Voir dire
4. Once upon a time ...

Here are some words I dislike.

1. Quagmire
2. Pithy
3. Impetus
4. Succinct
5. Defecate


Phrases I can't stand:

1. Mutually exclusive
2. As if!

You Ain't Seen Nothin'

My biggest pet peeves in coversational English:

Number One:

Using "seen" incorrectly - common in today's conversations. You ain't seen nothin' cause I seen it first. If you seen it, tell me.

Doh!!!! My ears bleed when I hear that!!

You either saw something OR have seen something. Please don't make my ears bleed.

Number Two:

Dude! Where's my car?? I'm not a dude. You're not a dude. Unless you are under 25 and a full-time California surfer, please do not call people "dude." Again, don't make my ears bleed, please.

Number Three:

Shit-damn, mo-fo, ya don't say!! Cursing is wonderful but it evolved out of the need for extra emphasis. Please reserve your colorful speech for those times when you are especially happy, sad or very angry. Your motherfu*%#in' grandma is not the motherfu*%#in' best cook on this godd*#n planet. But, that weight that your buddy dropped on you toe hurt like a motherfu*#er and you were one lucky f#cker to get out when your house caught fire.

Number Four:

It ain't ain't! It's "I am not." 'Nuff said.

I Layed About My Hen Lying Eggs While She Layed on the Grass

TO LIE OR TO LAY?

That is the question.

Don't feel bad. This one always get me too. Here is a great website to help you figure out if you plan to lie or lay on the bed.

http://www.learnenglish.org.uk/grammar/archive/lielay01.html